Prom season is officially in full swing and those of you seeking answers to all of life’s questions such as “what is Prom?” and “how do I do it?” should look no further. This year’s self declared “it” couple and future taxidermists, Nat Alder and Ava Vargason, are doling out sweet, sweet nothings (Prom advice). Here is a list of 10 items one should have on his/her list to check off before Prom(goes horribly wrong).
1. Make sure you actually have an outfit – This one should go without saying. Alas, last year, we definitely saw people dressed in god knows what — just atrocious attention getting costumes that completely defied human logic and the overall class needed to look smooth at prom. It doesn’t take much. Get a nice tux or a dress. For those looking for a tux, don’t overdo it with fancy colors, it might seem funny in your head, but unless you want to look like a backyard wrestler, you should probably go for a more simple approach.
2. Look at your date’s outfit beforehand – This serves two purposes, the first is to make sure that your date actually has an outfit, but also to make sure that your outfits match in some respect. We’ve all seen those mismatched pictures your grandma comments on on Facebook, the ones where you’re wearing a blue bowtie and your date’s wearing an orange dress. Which is okay if you wanna look like a couple of imprisoned Nascar drivers, but generally not favorable to the general…world.
3. Connect with your dates beforehand – Before you find yourself standing in the middle of a dark dance floor with someone you barely know, consider using the remaining three weeks before Prom to exercise your mouth muscles. We’re talking about a good, old fashioned conversation. Is he a vegetarian? What music is she comfortable dancing to? Do either of you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Is he/she a serial murderer? The responses may surprise you, but it’s better to know this beforehand, rather than waking up in a bathtub full of ice the next morning. Or not waking up at all.
4. Flowers – This can be deceivingly complicated. The first decision to make is where you’ll get your corsage and boutonniere. In Iowa City, you can go to HyVee, Sueppel’s, Every Bloomin’ Thing, or McDonald’s. But once you choose a place, you’ll be bombarded with different designs and colors as soon as you walk in the door. Simple is always better (and cheaper) since most Prom couples ditch their flowers before dinner even begins. Ladies, figure out how to put a boutonniere on your date before you get to pictures. It’s more complicated than it looks. Remember that these flowers are not edible, and may or may not be altogether poisonous, so refrain from traveling down that path.
5. Understand your date’s expectations – This one might be simple for some people, or it might be undeniably complex for others: know what Prom means to both of you. Is it a “just friends” type deal? Or a first date of sorts? Something in between? Obviously, direct conversation could lead to some very awkward aftermath, but beat around the bush, do some subtle investigation between friends and find out some info that could lead to clarification.
6. Have the dance conversation before you get there – This is where things might get awkward if approached the wrong way.What if they don’t like grinding? What if they don’t know what that is(get on that)? Ask them if they want to be a “Twerk team”. Maybe they don’t like dancing at all — but at least you’ll know beforehand, and therefore eliminate the possibility of being disappointed on the dance floor. Just remember, nobody does “the Robot” anymore. So stop thinking you’re funny.
7. Have a plan for before Prom – This is important for you and your date, for aesthetic, economic and convenience reasons. Find out where you’ll be taking pictures at, and who with. Have solid dinner plans, and remember that if you go out to eat, you should have dinner reservations, like, yesterday. Make sure the food you all eat isn’t super cheap, but also isn’t super messy. Foods like pasta or Tiramisu might not be the most effective of items to have on your meal plan for Prom night. Keep in mind that these meals will probably be expensive, and usually males are expected to pay for the females. Also, if the restaurant you have in mind rhymes with “Shackronalds”, “Sturgur Ring”, or “Bendy’s”, you probably should re-evaluate your Prom(and life) choices.
8. Have a plan for after Prom – Make sure you, your date, or even your group have a place to go after Prom. Stripclubs are usually off limits, but City High Junior parents throw a mean Party After. If Party After Prom isn’t your thing, there are a bevy of endeavors for you to experience, like such as McDonalds, Pancheros, or the Cheese Factory out in the Amana Colonies. The idea is for the party to last as long as possible, and the actual event of Prom only lasts for a few hours. Milk it for as long as possible!
9. Avoid Prom drama at all costs – Take it from us, Prom drama (or Proma for short) can turn a perfect Prom night into a living Hell, and ruin a couple friendships in the process. If you catch wind of a “she said, he said” situation, just stay out. It’s better to be a neutral party than risk being on the losing side. If you’re more into the dramatics, go ahead and talk crap about girls’ dresses. See what happens.
10. Have fun – We know this list may have added some extra stress and/or precaution to ensuring a great Prom night, but really, relax, and have a great time. Don’t stress so much about everything. You have this one night, and ultimately nothing else matters if you end up having fun. Date ditches you? Dance solo. Dress rips? Get some safety pins. Date’s ex pulls a knife on you? Run (throw your heels at him if necessary). And just remember, this is the single most important night of your life. If you make a mistake, you’ll ruin everything.
If this wasn’t enough to get you geared up and ready for Prom, check out Nat’s 2012 edition for the guyz: https://thelittlehawk.com/10-things-guys-must-havedo-before-prom-a-males-perspective/
