34 Thoughts You Have When You Get the Flu

Wash your hands, drink lots of fluids, and don’t Google your symptoms! Ever!

Mariam Keita

Mariam Keita, Reporter
April 10, 2018

With winter comes cold season, and in the worst-case scenario, flu season. While some are lucky enough to never succumb to the bodily aches and pains that accompany the sickness, others don’t have the same good fortune. Read on to hear some of the thoughts that this unlucky carrier had during the height of her bout with the influenza virus.

    1. I’m so tired.
    2. And my throat kind of hurts.
    3. I better not be getting sick…
    4. Was that sneeze a normal sneeze or a sick sneeze?
    5. Oh jeez, I feel like I just got hit by a bus.
    6. My head is so congested, it feels like I’m wearing a fishbowl.
    7. At least I don’t have a fever.
    8. I’m sorry, did you say something? I’m super out of it.
    9. WAIT I HAVE A FEVER?! 100.8??? BUT I FEEL FINE.
    10. I can’t be sick, I have a test next period!
    11. Ugh, but it hurts to move.
    12. If I have to stand up for much longer, I’m either going to throw up or pass out.
    13. Okay, I’m sick but that doesn’t mean I have the flu. I could just have a cold or something.
    14. I’m going to Google it.
    15. Ew, I sneezed on my phone…
    16. Alright, the Mayo Clinic lists all of the symptoms right here.
    17. Yup, all of these are me.
    18. Damn, I ACTUALLY have the flu.
    19. I just coughed for 60 seconds straight…is this how I die?
    20. I’m going to Google how many people have died from the flu this year.
    21. I wonder what kind of music they’ll play at my funeral. Someone better play “I Was Here” by Beyonce.
    22. I’m so tired.
    23. My nose is running so much, I’ve used half a box of tissues in one day.
    24. I’m killing so many trees.
    25. Where does snot even come from? How is there so much of it coming out of me?
    26. I love you, bed. I’m glad we’re spending more time together. ❤︎
    27. Oh hey, it’s the cat. I forgot we had a cat.
    28. Oh, she’s climbing on the bed with me. Oh, she’s so cute.
    29. Awwww, I feel better already.
    30. FLU—can cats get it from people?
    31. HaVE i KiLleD mY CaT??
    32. I’m Googling it.
    33. Oh nooo they totally can!
    34. Well, at least I won’t die alone.